Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
this hospital has no fireball
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
