In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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