Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
