Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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