Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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