my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
