He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
