At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i came on her dog
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I got inside last night via doggy door
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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