Rock
Scissors
Fuck
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize