Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
