We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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