She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
