TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
