I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize