i jhust puked up my retainher.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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