Pappa wants mamma naked
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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