Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Randomize
