does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
