did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
