Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
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