Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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