Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize