fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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