how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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