why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
