we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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