You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
