i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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