i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
