i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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