why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
