Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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