you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize