Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
this is an emotional support booty call
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
