yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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