No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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