You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
