i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
