So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
