I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Randomize
