And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
