I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize