I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize