Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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