Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
