Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize