using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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