My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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