and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
