My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
