is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
