she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
