Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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