Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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