Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I got inside last night via doggy door
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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