I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
God, I missed his penis.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
