I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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