Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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