never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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