3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
So gin and wine won't be happening again
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
