Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
