Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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