the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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