I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
