dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
