i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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