we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
