she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
