One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
