My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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